By Erin Sousa
One thing that I do here at Stonehill is cantor masses. “Cantor” is a fancy Catholic word for the person who is the soloist during the mass and leads the music. One Sunday I found myself sitting in my little chair, about to stand up to begin mass, and I decided to take a few deep breaths. It was a bit unusual for me because typically before I begin singing, I have a brief moment of anxious spiraling and then I have to start singing and pretend that I’m not nervous. However, on that Sunday, I not only took some deep breaths, but I also reminded myself that I sing because I think it’s fun. While it may sound simple, just thinking of the fact that I sing because I find it to be fun took away my typical fears of missing a note, losing my place in the music, or just wiping out on the slippery tile floor. That mass ended up being one of the best times I have ever sung.
This semester I am student-teaching at a local high school, and I’ve discovered that I am the busiest I’ve ever been in my life. In just my first week of being a little teacher-in-training, I found myself running around campus from one thing to the next on my calendar. It was getting to the point that I was barely finding my day-to-day life to be enjoyable. However, since that mass, I have continued to remind myself that the things I have chosen to fill my calendar are things that I find fun. They aren’t chores that I run around campus trying to complete. They aren’t the boxes that I check off of the numerous to-do lists I write over the course of twenty-four hours. They are things that I have chosen to do because when I decide to relax and be in the moment, they actually bring me joy. Rather than thinking of all that could go wrong or how many things I still must do once I finish one thing on my list, I can choose to find the fun right where I am. Since I began my “fun test,” if you will, I have noticed that I am much more relaxed. I have realized that when you are choosing to have fun, there are certain things on your to-do list that may not get done, which ends up not being the worst thing in the world. Being more present has led to some of the most meaningful conversations I’ve had with other students I’ve run into around campus. It turns out that when you stop living your life as if you’re in a never-ending rush, everything somehow feels just a little better. Therefore, I would like to remind my fellow busy people to take a few deep breaths and simply have some fun.